Gone but not forgotten ....Yesterday was the 7th anniversary of my Mothers death.
Mom there is not a day that goes by that I don't think of. You are in my heart where ever I go. There are times when I'm lying on the floor in a ball and crying wishes you were here to guide through my tough times.
I just ask for your guidance and you take my hand and help me through.
I often feel you next to me ,or see a sign you have left to let me know you are around.
I was once told by someone that when I saw coins on the ground ,that would be a sign you were with me. I will never forget the time I was on the PCT in the middle of no where going to the bathroom off trail, I reached down to grab my water bottle, and climbed back on the trail in the dirt there were three coins. I laughed and smiled knowing you were with me on my journey.
There are so many more stories like that to tell. They sound so unbelievable to most people if it wasn't happening to me I might not believe it.
I want to thank you for helping me in my recent relationship issues. I let go to what I loved and gave up for a moment. I know you wanted me to see on my own that I was truly in love with Andy, and stepping away was the only way to make me realize how much I loved him.
Those nights that I cried because of how awful I felt, I felt you near letting me know it was all a test.
I have some how become you, your spirit lives through me and I see it.
I know I made you proud and I still do.
The times I wanted to die just to be with you again I can no longer count. You made me understand that I am here for a reason. I am here to inspire others just like you inspired me. I know one day we will be together again. But for now I will see you in my dreams and I will see the signs you leave for me.
The one thing I know is, you are happy that you are with my Dad and my sister Peggy. You all have each other and I know you're not alone. I hope you are still taking walks with Oskar my little dog that left me to be with you.
I love you always Mommy.
I know you still think I'm crazy for running Ultras. But like you said before at least I'm not on drugs.