Gone but not forgotten ....Yesterday was the 7th anniversary of my Mothers death.
Mom there is not a day that goes by that I don't think of. You are in my heart where ever I go. There are times when I'm lying on the floor in a ball and crying wishes you were here to guide through my tough times.
I just ask for your guidance and you take my hand and help me through.
I often feel you next to me ,or see a sign you have left to let me know you are around.
I was once told by someone that when I saw coins on the ground ,that would be a sign you were with me. I will never forget the time I was on the PCT in the middle of no where going to the bathroom off trail, I reached down to grab my water bottle, and climbed back on the trail in the dirt there were three coins. I laughed and smiled knowing you were with me on my journey.
There are so many more stories like that to tell. They sound so unbelievable to most people if it wasn't happening to me I might not believe it.

I want to thank you for helping me in my recent relationship issues. I let go to what I loved and gave up for a moment. I know you wanted me to see on my own that I was truly in love with Andy, and stepping away was the only way to make me realize how much I loved him.
Those nights that I cried because of how awful I felt, I felt you near letting me know it was all a test.
I have some how become you, your spirit lives through me and I see it.
I know I made you proud and I still do.
The times I wanted to die just to be with you again I can no longer count. You made me understand that I am here for a reason. I am here to inspire others just like you inspired me. I know one day we will be together again. But for now I will see you in my dreams and I will see the signs you leave for me.
The one thing I know is, you are happy that you are with my Dad and my sister Peggy. You all have each other and I know you're not alone. I hope you are still taking walks with Oskar my little dog that left me to be with you.
I love you always Mommy.
I know you still think I'm crazy for running Ultras. But like you said before at least I'm not on drugs.

People Are Like Stained-Glass

People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within.

Andy and I working Sycamore canyon 50k Sunday. We actually had to sweep 7 miles we were pretty tired from Saturday but we did and had fun.

Dr. Drew Pinski and me. We happened to be going to the movies and walked in Vromas (sp?) book store in Pasadena where he was getting ready to leave. I use to listen to Love lines on the radio and have watched Celebrity rehab. I told him I had 14 years clean and sober he was impressed ,told him I run as my addiction instead. He agreed it was better than drugs.

WOD 3/31/2009

Complete the following for time:

• Run 200m
• 21 deadlifts (M:225#/W:155#)
• 21 pull-ups
• Run 400m
• 15 deadlifts
• 15 pull-ups
• Run 800m
• 9 deadlifts
• 9 pull-ups

My time: 13:07 jumping pull-ups #95 pounds.

OLD GOATS 50 MILER.
Andy and I ran OG 50 miler over the weekend we had a blast I love running with him he really motivates me. I'm lucky enough to have a boyfriend who loves spending time outdoors and doing what I do.
We make a great team I think. Andy is so sweet he actually is a way faster runner than me, but he enjoys taking it easy and running with me at races.
It was a pretty hot day and the course was challenging. We finished in 13:03. I even got 2nd in my age group woo hoo thanks to Andy.


Andy, Me and the RD Steve.

Miracles Are An Expression of Love

Miracles occur naturally as expressions of love. The real miracle is the love that inspires them. In this sense everything that comes from love is a miracle.
Marie Lloyd

Brand New Ending

Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.
I so believe that quote! I took steps to change my life 14 years ago. Went from very unhealthy druggie to Super fit, super Healthy Vegan Ultrarunner/crossfitter.
I work hard to look this way. It starts with a positive attitude and pushing myself by training smart and eating a healthy diet. I won't be here forever, but I can make sure that I look and feel the best I can while I'm here.
Send me positive vibes this weekend will be running Old Goats 50 miler with Andy. We are also planning on watching our friend Pablo fight that night, never been to a cage fight so I'm excited to watch him kick butt.
Good luck to all who are racing this weekend.
And remember have fun!

Your Body is Your Autobiography

Over the years your bodies become walking autobiographies, telling friends and strangers alike of the minor and major stresses of your lives.
Marilyn Ferguson

Notice the guys at the auto body shop watching me in the top picture? I felt pretty bad ass. There is something about lifting, pushing with your entire body, and flipping a tractor tire around.
It takes skill. I loved it we just got the tires recently. I'm going to start flipping them on rest days. I wanna work up to the big tire and flip that sucka yep there is a bigger one. Bigger than me.
I must say that squat looks pretty damn good.

It's all about focusing and saying fuck a lot! Wow look at that vain in my neck it's about to explode!

I was pretty dirty after that workout. My whole body is sore today.

WOD 3-24-09
"Tire F@$king Flipping"
Flip the tire 200 meters for time.
My time 9:17

RIP John C. Corbett
Here is a short section from a book my Dad use to read to me as a little girl.
The Velveteen Rabbit. When I think of the Rabbit I think of my Dad.

"What is REAL?" asked the Rabbit one day, when they were lying side by side near the nursery fender, before Nana came to tidy the room. "Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?"

"Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real."

"Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit.

"Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "When you are Real you don't mind being hurt."

"Does it happen all at once, like being wound up," he asked, "or bit by bit?"

"It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."

Today marks the 26th anniversary of my Dads death. I remember it clear as this day. We got a call my Dad was at the hospital we had no idea he was dead. I was 17 years old and never knew anyone who had died. It was a huge shock. I was a bratty teenage girl and I remember getting in an argument with my father the day before, because he wouldn't let me go to the mall. I told him I hated him. That was the last thing I remember telling him. So you could image how this affected me my entire life. It still does. I have this thing about telling my friends I love them often. If they died the next day I would know that I told them how I felt with kind words. As I write this it brings up the sadness only I can understand.
I know he watches over me and knows I love him and always will. I know I will be with him and my Mom ,and sister and others who pasted away one day.
Make sure you tell someone you love them today. And never end a fight with I hate you. Maybe say I don't like you right now, but I love you always.

I love all of you.
I miss you Daddy ,and I love you always. RIP John C. Corbett.
Your little Peanut.

Moving Forward or Standing Still?

Look at your past. Your past has determined where you are at this moment. What you do today will determine where you are tomorrow. Are you moving forward or standing still?

Me and my idol Wheelchair Bob

I had an awesome fun run yesterday. The Mount. Diablo 50k was one of the best organized Ultras I have ever run. And trust me I have run a lot. They Bussed us over from the finish area in a nice chartered bus. The weather was perfect. It rained all night but race day was beautiful.
We got to the start and they had a full staff checking us in, they had snacks and water for us and we were able to hang out on the bus so we didn't have to freeze in the cold before the start.
I was excited to see wheelchair Bob, he was going to start us off. I listen to him speak at REI before about being the first person in a wheelchair to reach a 14,000ft peak. He climbed White Mountain. Which I have run a few times. It amazes me what he has done. I asked him how long it took him to do the Ohlone wilderness trail. Basically the course we do during the Ohlone 50k. The trail he did was 28 miles. It took him 5 days. I asked him how the hell did he get down and up out of Satans Pit(Williams gulch) he said he had a rope and had to crawl and pull his wheel chair up with a rope he rigged to the chair. He said there was a couple times going down the trail he fell over. I will never complain again during my Ohlone solo 100 miler again or any ultra for that matter.
He even did the Mount Diablo trail that we were about to run in 3 days.
He will be doing Kilimanjaro next year. It will take him a couple months he said.
He is truly an inspiration. He does not let obstacles get in his way.
Next time you are complaining in race think of Wheelchair Bob.
As soon as he gets his web-site up for the Kili trip I will post it.
I was suppose to run with Jim but after mile 17 went on alone. My hamstring was getting tight from standing around. I got to run with Laura Spain a friend who helped me during my crazy reverse solo Western States 100. She was even pregnant at the time pacing me 20 miles to the river.
She is an amazing runner. She is coming off a knee problem and ran a good race.
I also enjoyed sharing the trail with my pick haired friend Leigh Mosser. Who is training for Miwok 100k as her first 100k. She ran a good race too, and will do awesome at Miwok.
Catra, Mylinh and Julia

I want to thank the Save Mount Diablo group for putting on the race and all the wonderful volunteers. The aid stations were awesome. They had these great chewy orange candies from Whole Foods that I loved. They even had organic potatoe chips from WF. You don't see that everyday at an aidstation.
They had a band at the finish and lots of yummy food. Even organic vegan soup.
I am looking forward to next years race and hoping they will hurry and finish the grand loop so they can put on a 100k too.
Leigh and Catra

WOD 3/23/2009

"Time Trials"

Complete each of the following tasks individually for time:

• Row 500m =2:25
  
• Run 400m=1:40
• 100 pull-up=4:18(jumping)
• 100 push-ups=5:29
• 100 sit-ups=2:11
• My total time: 15:23
  

Post a time for each task. You may perform them in any order. you may rest as long as you like between efforts, but you must complete all five movements within one hour.

Images from the 1st annual Mount. Diablo 50k .
This is my buddy Jim Winnie. He use to pace me and crew me. He knew me like no other. He always made sure that I was eating and drinking. He will go down in history as my best crew guy ever. He helped me through so many races. He reminds me a lot of how my Dad was when he was alive. Several years ago Jim found out he had a heart problem and was basically told he could never run past a few miles again.
He had a defibulator put in. It malfunctioned a couple years ago.
He had a new one put in and it seems to be fine. He has proved all those doctors wrong. Running is no longer easy, and it is a gift to him. He is lucky to still be alive. he inspires me. I was suppose to run with him today, and I did a little but by the time I got to 17 miles I had to keep moving because my hamstring was getting tight, from last weeks 100. I knew he would be fine. he finished strong.
I want people to know when they say they can't run ultras because they are to old. Look at Jim he is 60 and still going strong and makes no excuses. It is a gift we have, this running thing. Don't forget that.
Me having fun with my new Sony Camera. i just got it yesterday because mine broke. I love this new model and all the fun features.
This is a lone flower I shoot it was the only one I saw like this on the entire trail
Mount Diablo far away.
Heading to castle rock state park. Super cool rock formations.

Encourage Others

Take every opportunity to give others encouragement. Lucy MacDonald
Today we had fun marking a section of the Mount. Diablo 50k trail race course. It was Mike, Jerry, Me, Mylinh and Joe we were out around 5 hours.
We missed the rain.
Hopefully it will come tonight when we're asleep.
Wish me luck tomorrow going to run the 50k race. I am actually going to run the whole thing with one of long time friends Jim Winnie. It's gonna be fun.
Oh and let's wish Andy Kumeda good luck too, he's trading in his trailrunning shoes for the day ,to run the First Pasadena marathon ;)
Me acting like a goof ball ;)
You can't even see Mount Diablo!

It is never too late

It's never too late to have a happy childhood. Walk in the rain, collect rainbows, smell flowers, stop along the way, build sand castles, watch the moon and stars come out, say hello to everyone, make up new rules, go on adventures, act silly, take bubble baths, hold hands and hug and kiss, dance, laugh and cry for the health of it, feel happy, say the magic words, and trust the universe. Bruce Williamson
Today I didn't run just went to crossfit. I will be marking the course tomorrow for the Mount. Diablo 50k course that I'm running Sunday. My plan is to run with my good friend Jim Winne on Sunday. it should be fun!

"Bizarro Cindy"

Complete as many rounds as you can of the following in five minutes:

• 5 chest to the bar pull-ups
• 10 ring push-ups
• 15 overhead squats with a dowel
• Rest exactly 2.5 minutes

Repeat two more times for a total of three rounds (20 minutes)

Continue the count for the next round where you left off from the previous round.
I did 12 rounds + 13 squats.

Appreciate the journey

Live your life each day as you would climb a mountain. An occasional glance towards the summit keeps the goal in mind, but many beautiful scenes are to be observed from each new vintage point. Harold B Melchart

My body needed rest. Today I slept in..I woke up at 6am to put Rocky out and thought I need to sleep. Went back to bed and woke up at 9:45am it's been a long time since I slept in that late. But since my body is still out of wack from C2M i decided I needed rest.
I got up and took Rocky for a run. I was really sore today. I'm thinking it was from crossfit a couple days ago. I did a couple "Tabatas" today push-ups and sit-ups.
How can you not love this little guy? Just look at that face. He isn't going to be happy next week when I go to Andy's without him. We are running Old Goats 50 miler and I'm flying. But the following week he gets to go on a road trip to Andy's.
I really think Andy would be Rocky if he was a dog ,and same for Rocky if he was human . They have the same personality ;)
This is the look that gets me every time. If I'm getting ready and ignoring him he does this so he can go..LOL..He's so funny.

All roads lead to Rome! Or in other words all paths lead to the same place. But before those paths lead us to anywhere we have to stop thinking about it and get on with it. This is a time of action and movement. Don’t worry if you make a mistake, we’re not perfect. If you realise you’ve made a mistake then make another choice and get back to the right path. Revamp objectives and approach life from another perspective.
© Stephen Haynes

I love this card..It's called Lovers...

Things are not always what they appear, so examine everything carefully. What looks very positive could be negative and what looks negative could in fact be positive. The universe is a strange place and so things don’t always have to go according to your plan to actually be beneficial. This is a time to rely upon the Self, so examine and let go of support systems that no longer serve you.
© Stephen Haynes
So Sony called me today they no longer make my camera so I'm getting a check. I saw the model I want to get, same price but a lot more features. it's the DSC-W290 series they don't make it in pink ;( so I'm thinking silver.
I am big into Sony so will stick with them. I'm thinking this is the upgraded model of my two year old one.

I ran 4 miles today on Mission Peak my feet hurt on the down hills. My blisters. My feet should be fine for my next race this weekend Mount. Diablo 50k. Anyone else running it???

This made my whole heart happy when I read this. I know it's someone who knew me long ago. And it's ok to be anonymous, your words made me feel great while running C2M..I just kept thinking this is why I run, to be the best person ever.
Thank you.

Anonymous said...

That lost girl was also a beautiful, kind-hearted person. But those who knew her then, are so happy you are more beautiful, stronger, growing and loving life today. The angel was always inside, now she just gets to come out an play more!

May the trail be your friend and the stars your guide. Good thoughts being sent to Catra!

HAPPY SAINT PATRICK'S DAY....Kiss me I'm Irish..well half ;)



I did a short 3 mile run easy felt great except those damn blisters.
I'm still in LA LA land..Riding that high...Damn the hundred mile fix is the best drug ever ;)
Today at crossfit we did the "Horrible Hundred" ..Was it horrible???Hell yeah, harder then running a hundred. Running is fun crossfit is fun, but it's hard work ;)
I love how strong crossfit makes me feel. Core strength is key to crossfit. I am always working my core. Running will not give you nice abs crossfit will.
I am tapering for my next race this weekend I will be running Mount. Diablo 50k. If your free Sunday I suggest you run it, the money goes to save mount Diablo a nonprofit group.

WOD 3/17/2009

"Horrible Hundred"

Complete the following for time:

• 25 Deadlifts (215#/173#)
• 25 Squat clean and Jerks (125#/83#)
• 25 Thruster (75#/53#)
• 25 Overhead squat (45#/33#)
  

** Use one bar for the entire workout, stripping weights for each movement**
** The rx'd men's 45# bar will loaded in the following order to start the workout: 15# plates, then add 25# plates, and then add 45# plates **
** The rx'd women's will be 33# bar loaded in the following order: 10# plates, then add 15# plates, and then add 45# plates**

You are shooting for 10 minutes or less in this workout. my time 7:49 did not RX

I did it! I finished Coyote two moons in 32:11.
I will post a story later but for now, I am super happy and I had an awesome run. Just one of those days I guess. I really did push myself and wanted to see if I could do well. I set out with a 36 hour goal but knew I could probably do it in 34 hours. But during the run I thought lets try for 32 hours.
Andy did awesome too..He had major stomach problems but he pushed through to finish in 31 something. He hoped for 28 hours. I still think he's amazing for finishing in a good time even though he wanted a faster time.
Time to get ready for work.

Do not put yourself in a situation that will compromise you or your values. It is frankly better to do without than accept compromise. Examine what it is that you want - perhaps what you want is not necessarily what you need. This is a time for improvement and betterment but you must clear away the old to make room for the new. Where there is a will there is a way, learn to operate in new ways and develop your strength of will.
© Stephen Haynes

"To the world you may be just one person, but to one person you may be the world"

I thought it would be fun to put some pixs of me over the last 4 years. Haircolor creations by my BFF Julia Bramer..If you ever want a great color and cut she's awesome. She lives in the Danville area. I can give you her contact info. ;)



I am leaving this afternoon. I am excited about what lies ahead of me this weekend during C2M 100.

Please send me all those positive vibes starting at 9pm Friday through 7am Sunday.

I love you all ;)


It takes a lot of courage to release the familiar and seemingly secure, to embrace the new. But there is no real security in what is no longer meaningful. There is more security in the adventurous and exciting, for in movement there is life, and in change there is power.

The Future

The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams. Eleanor Roosevelt

This is why I run...I don't want to be that girl in the top picture she was someone who had no dreams or desires...I was lost and all I thought about was drinking , doing drugs, partying and going to clubs. I was so lost.
I never thought that girl in that picture 15 years ago would turn her life around an become,

The girl in this picture.
Sure , life is a struggle and I am being tested from time to time. Only to become stronger and to never be that lost little girl again.

Our past is part of who we are, I have no regrets about who I was back than. I am just happy that I went through what I went through. If I didn't become a drug addict and alcoholic I would of never become a ultrarunner.

It's ok to dream big..That's what I do. I love life now and live to the fullest.

Please send me positive thoughts this Friday when I start Coyote 2 moons 100. I hope to finish in under 36 hours. Andy will be going for a 28 hour finish so we won't be running together send him positive thoughts too.
Have a great day.

THE "HAPPY FACE" crossfit WOD
I'm not exactly sure why it's called the "Happy Face" my face sure isn't looking to happy after this workout. It's fast and intense.
5 rounds for time 400 meter run , 50 squats as fast as you can.
I finished in 13:40 the goal is under 15 min.

If anyone is interested my crossfit Oneworld will be holding the Running and endurance cert. in August. You don't have to do crossfit to take the class. It's all about POSE running which I have been doing for a year. It is an awesome class taught by Brian McKenzie he has finished several Ultras and is an awesome coach in Newport beach.

CrossFit Running And Endurance Certification - Union City CA - August 22-23, 2009 Saturday, August 22, 2009 - Sunday, August 23, 2009 Crossfit One World 33415 Western Avenue Union City , CA 94587 Map and Directions Start and end time: 9 am to 4 pm each day with a 1 hour lunch break. Meals: On your own. Other: Possible social gathering and dinner on Saturday night. The Specialty Certification will be presented by Brian MacKenzie and Carl Borg. What's your CrossFit "Helen" time? It could be better in a weekend by improving your running efficiency. Maybe you want to improve your 5k, 1 mile, or 400m times? Or your marathon? Do you hurt when you run? Do you suffer from shin splints, knee or hip pain? Improving your running efficiency may be the key to running both pain free and faster. You will run less than 2.5 total miles over the weekend and spend 2 full days with Coach Brian MacKenzie learning the fundamentals of run technique. Learn how to utilize CrossFit and minimize oxidative overload to improve the performances of both your short distance and endurance athletes. Brian Mackenzie is an expert in strength and conditioning for endurance athletes, and is the creator of www.crossfitendurance.com and a CrossFit Endurance Coach. He is a Level 3 CrossFit Certified Trainer and is a Level 3 POSE Certified Running Coach. Brian is the owner of CrossFit Newport Beach, and operates an internship for professional trainers. He has been a competitive Ultra Runner and Ironman Triathlete. He has competed in Ironman Canada along with several ultra marathons ranging from 50k to 100 miles including the Western States 100 and the Angeles Crest 100. Brian has successfully used CrossFit as the cornerstone of his programming for endurance athletes, while supplementing sport. His athletes train sometimes a third of what the norm train with superior results.

Register Now Contact Information Please contact Customer Service with any questions, using the "send email" button below. Send Email Payment Instructions The price of this certification is $595 USD. Please place a $250 deposit to secure your space in the certification. You can continue to make payments as long as your balance is paid in full three weeks prior to the certification. Please make sure you are paid in full three weeks before the certification you will forfeit your place in the certification. If you plan to pay by check we must receive your check payment before you can register. Please print and fill out this form to send with your check: Registration Form After we receive your check, we will notify you via email or phone of the code you will need to register for the certification.

Echoes of Kindness

Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless

Rocky and I went out for a run this morning I took him out on the OHlone college side of Mission Peak. We ran up the YSC trail and picked up the Panorama we did 5 miles. It was sunny and nice. We learned it's still muddy on that side because of big trees it is very shady in that area. Rocky loved it lots of single track, he ran strong. We saw a group of Wild Turkeys on our run.
Rocky does much better off lease on single track I notice on fire roads he wanders a lot and stops. I think I will start taking on this side more once it dries out.
I forgot about the time change so woke up later. That's ok.

I gotta start packing for C2M I leave Wed. after work to fly to Andy's place. I am very excited about running this race. It should be a blast.
Crossfit Today:
for time 1 round:
100 kettlebell swings
100 push-ups
100 sit-ups
100 squats
100 lunges
my time: 9:21

The Four of Wands card suggests that my power today lies in bonding. I celebrate our common connection, success, or attraction and recognize the equal status, protection, or reputation that results in the formation of this union is merely the beginning or negotiation of something new. I am empowered by positive results within the partnership and I transform through teamwork or marriage.

Today I enjoyed a beautiful day spent with my wonderful friends along the Ohlone trail. We ran 20 miles, and spent 6 wonderful hours together. Julia, Mike and I did the whole 20 miles and FJ Jerry joined us for 6 miles, he was only able to be out for a bit he had a game to go to.

I really enjoyed spending time with Mike and Julia. I have been running with the both of them longer then anyone else. In fact Mike introduced me in Julia in 2001.

I had seen her many times before but he is the one who hooked us up.
We go way back and they both have played key rolls in many successful 100 mile solo journeys. They have served as pacer and crew. They have joined me when out of the blue I decided I want to run 62 miles for a training run. Sure they think I'm crazy but they are too for coming along with me during my wacky adventures.

Sure Julia and Mike will tell you how we almost died together last year during an epic on Donohue pass.
Mike will tell you how he was pacing me in Yosemite in the High country during one of my solo hundreds and we got stuck in a lightning storm.
Julia will tell you how I convinced her to do a run in one of the worst storms in the Bay Area one night. We crawled on our hands and knees up Mission Peak so we wouldn't blow off. it was to dangerous to reach the summit so we had to hold on to each other, in the rain and hail just so we would blow off.

I'd say they are true friends I love my friends very much, and cherish all the memories I have stored in my brain. With out them there would be no epic stories to tell.


I will be taking there memories with me when I run C2M 100 next Friday, and using their energy to get me through the race.
Check this out it's cute :)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wZHmsVRshwU