Thursday, March 29, 2007

I MISS MY MOM :(
Saturday will mark the 5 year Anniversary of her death...Whenever I see Lupines I think of her. I noticed Lupines for the first time the day after she died.

Mom I know it's been almost 5 years that you left me. You were not only my Mom, you were my best friend. My heart broke into a thousand little pieces when I found you dead, on the floor in your room. It was like a bad dream I didn't feel like it was real. Only when I looked at you, and saw your arms in a raised position, and a smile on your face. I knew you were really happy. You where reaching out for God to take you, and so you could be with Dad again.
There has not been one day in my life, that has gone by where I don't think of you.
I often wonder if I am making you proud, or if you still think I'm crazy for running :)
I will never forget what you did for me before my race's.
You always left me little greeting cards on the table at night. So when I woke up early in the morning to run a race it let me know you cared and were happy for me. I still have all those cards, and from time to time I read them.
I wish you were still here so I can tell you in person my stories.
There are times like today it hurts so bad that you're not here.
This weekend I will celebrate and remember all the fun times we had together. I am doing this crazy training run in your memory.
I love you and miss you. I know you are the one who watches over me, and has kept me safe on the trails.
Even when I am alone running. I am not really alone because I have you with me in my hear,t and in my mind.
I love you my Momma Mia 1931-2002


My 75 mile training run goes by this spot twice. This was taken in Sunol 1 mile up from the trailhead. I use to take my Mom to fun places like Sunol. I'm happy I took her here a few times. If I didn't I wouldn't have such wonderful memories.




15 comments:

Jo Lynn said...

How touching. Thanks for sharing. Have a great run tomorrow. I'll think of you when I look up at Mission Peak while I'm on my morning run with Boomer.
~Jo Lynn

Debbie said...

Massive beautiful freeflowing peaceful hug to you, Katra. May you have the best run ever.
-Deb

Anonymous said...

C--
Crazy training run. Si.
Wish I had the legs for that.
You are so sweet to memorialize your mother as you do. Nice. Hope your health holds. You're pretty inspirational, with that can't stop attitude and all. Thanks for sharing.

Lookin' forward to your PCT adventure. And that ice flow imagery was outa sight. Way cool. The things we do.

david
harrimanstateparkny

christine said...

hey Catra,
sweet post...hold on to those memories...their part of who you are and where you come from....i find this especially comforting right now since the passing of my grandma just last week.

JeffO said...

We're lucky we've each had parents that took care of us. Some people grew up with only one over-worked parent or no parents at all.
My parents are both still alive. They were never particularly warm towards me, although loving in their way.
You're extremely lucky to have had parents who were both very warm. The best testimony you can give your parents is how much you miss them.
I can only hope my son misses me when I'm gone. He's often waiting at the window when I drive up, or calls me when I'm running late coming out of the mountains.
So many kids don't have discipline. I heard a woman once say that it's not her job to be her son's friend - meaning her primary responsibility is to "bring him up" from childhood to adulthood. Parents have to "lay down the law". The art is to lay down the law, and still end up being friends.

I'm sure your Mom still thinks you're crazy and wonderful. I think you're both lucky.

Jullian said...

Thought for your mom!!!
I could have also thought during PCT for she :)
i 'm sure she is so proud of you...
much love for you
ju

Jullian said...

Thought for your mom!!!
I could have also thought during PCT for she :)
i 'm sure she is so proud of you...
much love for you
ju

GB said...

My heart goes out to you, Catra. The picture of your mom is beautiful. I can't help but feel that so much of your determination and stamina came from her! Thanks for sharing your feelings like that. I'm sure your mom is very proud of you, especially because you inspire so many!

Catra said...

Hi Jo Lynn-
Thanks.

Did you see me waving to you and Boomer from the top of the peak yesterday??? ;)
Catra

Catra said...

Hi David-
Thanks so much for the email and kind words.

Yes I tend to just a little bit crazy doing some wacky stuff for training ;)
Catra

Catra said...

Hey Jeffo thanks for the touching post. You're right we are lucky.

I feel I had the best parents a person could have while growing up. I'm not going to lie but I was a pain in my parents ass during my teenage years.

I was never perfect growing up, but since I was raised right, in the end I changed my life to make it right and be a good person because of how I was raised.
Catra

Catra said...

hey Ju-
During the PCT journey my Mom & Dad will be with us keeping us safe.
XOXO,
Catra

Catra said...

GB-
You hit the nail on the head.
I for sure got the determination & stamina from her.
Thanks for making me feel good.
Catra

Jo Lynn said...

Catra,
I did, I DID see you. ;)
How'd it go?
~Jo Lynn

Heather said...

Catra,
thanks for reminding me to appreciate my own parents - in that they too may some day be gone. I will give my mom and extra hug for you. I'm sure your mom is very proud of you! Thanks again for being you.