Monday, January 28, 2008

I believe every phase I have went through in my life has shaped me into who I am, whether it was good or bad it brought me to the point I am at now. I believe life is one big test..We are always being tested sometimes we pass with flying colors, other times we fail in a big way.
I learned long ago that when I fall down I don't stay down, I get up and get going again. Live & learn.
I'm always learning about who I am and what I want.
I decided along time ago, it's better to be single ,instead of forcing myself into relationship with someone just so I had someone in my life.
That's not always good. You usually end up with someone for the wrong reasons.
At this point I want to only end up with someone for the right reasons.

People ask why do you do crossfit this is why I do crossfit.
This is a healthy ultrarunner/crossfit body.
This picture a very unhealthy me!!!
This is a picture from a sad time in my life. Is it obvious I had a eating disorder??? This is what was my fat phase, that was my sick thinking. I weighed 93 pounds in this picture I actually got down to 82 pounds. This was not a good time. I could of easily died. Extreme exercising and running and not eating was not a good mix.
I once again went on to beat this disease after a 3 year battle.
I posted this because I know most of us woman battle weight issues..
If we learn to love ourselves, we won't end up like I did in this picture.
I look at it and it makes me sad, but makes me happy that I can finally love who I am. This picture was taken 10 years ago.
Today remember to love who you are.

New beginnings or the possibilities of a new start are soon to be presented. Use your inner magician to pull together all the components of what soon will be in the offing, as you should now be able to manifest your hopes, dreams and desires. Remember you are only at the beginning, the first stages of development, so the more you are able to accept the more will be given to you. © Stephen Haynes


Caren said...

I can't believe that's you! How far you've come. As always, love the pictures, love the tats. Oh and best of luck at RR! I'm sure you'll have a great race.

Michelle said...

I am in tears reading your newest blog.
I also have battled with ED's.I also got to 88 pounds and was starving my body while I ran and overexercised "trying" to be that perfect athlete with the "perfect body. I started doing that after I gave up meth in 1999. I started running in 200 to try to change my life from being this wiled drugged out girl and I had always dealt with body image issues,but in my late 20's it hit me like a diesel truck. I starved my self and when I ate I would purge.I eventually went to the DR and got some help.

You look amazing. I know when I look at my pics from those days I look frail and invisable.NOw I see myself as strong and healthy.

Lately I have been going through things and noticed I turned to drinking more then I should be and recently had a horrible night I blacked out and I dont recall anything. I felt and feel awful for it, and have sinced stopped drinking and making huge changes with how I deal with the stuff going on in my head.
I want to thank you so much for the inpsiration that you give me,you really have no idea how much you do inspire me to be a better person.NOw I read your newest blog and it stirs my heart even more...a huge huge hug is in order when we DO actually finally get to do a run together hehehe

I hope I dont sound like a weirdo saying all this but I truly do mean it.
Thank you.
Michelle-ultrarunner rockstar :)

jay said...

Instead of going to CNN and reading about who got killed in Iraq yesterday, I come to your blog for some inspiration during breaks at work. You never disappoint! Don't sweat the pressure to pair-up... if it's meant to happen it'll happen. Besides, you know the saying about finding the important things in life when you're not looking for them...


Anonymous said...

Catra it is just not you women that have unhealthy thoughts about wieght. Us men also have issues trying to make my boston time 3:10 was a tough time. Really obsessed about weight. Now I am 20 pounds heavier and loving the Ultra life.

Danny V said...

Hi there,
You look 300 times better then before. Good for you. You are an inspiration to all who actually suffers from eating disorder.
Keep inspiring people.
Take care and thanks for sharing.

JeffO said...

Wow, Catra sans curves. Skinny is not better. Now you have curves on your curves!

Sunshine Girl said...

.....and tats on your lats!

Jeff said...

I started a blog not too long ago. My brother, Brian (Running Down A Dream), showed me your blog about two months ago and I've been reading it ever since. Your posts are so inspirational! I think it's amazing how you turned your life around so drastically. Rock on!

Brian said...

Catra, great bod! Keep doin what you're doin and good luck at RR!

Who is SLB+? said...

As always; inspirational!

Self realization is only half the story, self actualization is the other half, it sure looks like you have a complete book.

Gregg Lynn said...

You look incredible, Catra!

I too am a man who struggles with weight issues. My body wants to be 185 but I wanna be 165.

You're such an inspiration!

Rob said...

Wow. Thats so damn impressive that you have such self determination, I'm impressed as hell. The difference between now and then is shocking and the story only makes your now, that much motivating to me and everyone else who reads and enjoys your posts.

ED's are a really scary thing for me (and I think anyone who's been exposed to anyone close with one) as my wife's sister suffers from a bad one, and my wife has always struggled with her weight. I really worry about when we have kids in the future.

Damn crossfit is TOUGH! Great job on your FA50 time also!

olga said...

Right on. Seems like most of my girlfriends had gone through ED and battled BID? Count me in. Same goes for staying alone vs wrong reasons. That's what I finally understood. I need to find myself before I figure out if there is anybody for me out there - or I am good for anybody...besides my kids, certainly. Only alone can I do it...

Josh said...

Hey Catra!

wow, there are so many facets of your life, so many things that would have been too much for most to overcome, but you've beaten them all! You're truly amazing! I just read your post on Jens blog. It was cool to read about how you went from out of control partier to crazy ultrarunner. We learn something new about you everyday!

Snakebite said...

I must say, I prefer the hot, sexy Catra to the overly skinny one. Looking great, kid!

Matt! said...

yo Catra!
Vegan power!! Haha. Looking good.
Going to be at Badwater this year or anything else in So Cal?

Sarah said...

Thanks for posting this, Catra! I think a lot of women need to see that beauty can be strong,muscular and healthy! You rock. : )

Anonymous said...

are the guns new? what are they shooting?

Rob "Buckeye" Powell said...


Wow, on the cross pics. Fine Fine Fine girl. Showing the man side of me. LOL

This may have been the amazing post yet. I hope that again your motivation and change can inspire others as you already have.

See ya at RR100.

GB said...

Just another reason for me to think you're amazing, Catra. You have overcome some serious stuff. You are a survivor, to be sure! I am so happy that I found this blog last year.

Kris said...

Your blog rocks! See you on the PCT 08 woo hoo!

CubicleGirl said...

Catra -
I used to compare myself to all the other runners i'd see at the starting line... all the skinny ones who i wanted to be.
I got down to 115, now am back at a healthy 140 and still crank my steady 1:40 half marathons. OK, so not lightening speed, but's no longer about the number on the scale or the dress rack... and you make this so obvious - i think you're beautiful b/c of your outlook on life, how you challenge yourself and because you have such a positive vibe.
Thank you for inspiring me yet again.