Sunday, January 06, 2013

I realized today that I'd been the only one holding our relationship together because the moment I let go, it fell apart completely.

This week has been a whirlwind of emotions just trying to understand what went wrong.
I hoped Andy would change or try to at least make some effort to save what we had.
That is what hurts me the most, he gave up and was willing to fight for me, for us.
So I had to let go.
I am missing our fun times we shared and those funny things only couples understand , like the funny names we called each other.
I miss the Andy I first met. This past year we were never on the same page let alone the same book ;-(
I know my higher power has a plan for me. But for now I remain a little lonely and lost.





6 comments:

chr15 said...

Thank-you for writing this, i think this nearly every day about my own situation but stick around because I am the fighter. I needed to know I wasn't the only one.

I'm sorry that it ended up this way for you. But if that's what happens the day you let go then you deserve better.

xo

Tizkit said...

Sending love and healing

Gloria said...

Catra - You are always so positive and you really do warm the hearts of everyone who follows your blog. So sorry you are hurting - you have a lot of people that are sending positive healing vibes :)

Harry said...

Love your blog and Facebook posts. Hope you know there are people who really care.

MountainJedi said...

Hi Catra,
Been following your blog since I saw your photo at the Heitmans in Old Station on the PCT back in 2008. Dirt Diva has been a link on my blog ever since. Ditto to all the other supportive comments - you're an inspiration every time I click to see your posts. So much positivity and love for life and all that it entails! The world needs more people like you who are open and fearless and genuine. I always hope I run into you out on the trail someday. Sending good vibes to you and your pup.
-Ben/Bobcat

MountainJedi said...

Hi Catra,
Been following your blog since I saw your photo at the Heitmans in Old Station on the PCT back in 2008. Dirt Diva has been a link on my blog ever since. Ditto to all the other supportive comments - you're an inspiration every time I click to see your posts. So much positivity and love for life and all that it entails! The world needs more people like you who are open and fearless and genuine. I always hope I run into you out on the trail someday. Sending good vibes to you and your pup.
-Ben/Bobcat